Think

6:00 – I wake up

Before seven thirty I have to wake the children up, get ready, make and eat breakfast.

7:30 – Leave the house

We’re never on time. Get the kids in the car, take them to school, get stuck in a traffic jam. Have a breakdown. Be late.

9:00 – Start work

Between nine and five I have to work. I hate my job. I hate my boss.

17:00 – Leave work

18:00 – Finally home

I get informed by our house keeper that the kids haven’t done their homework, because she couldn’t make them to do it. Also, the washing machine is broken. She won’t be able to come next week. I start to cook.

19:00 – Dinner

The kids don’t like broccoli.

19:30 – I bathe the smallest kid (the others are doing homework)

She doesn’t like to stay still, I get soaking wet.

20:00 – I put her to bed

My oldest son says he’s finished. I know he hasn’t. “Good night, Mom!” He is in his room, surfing the net. Maybe he sneaks out. I don’t know.

20:30 – Help middle child with what’s left

Panic halfway through because it’s getting late. He needs to sleep, I send him to take a shower, I’ll try and finish his homework. I can’t, I’m stupid.

21:10 – Send him to bed

I apologize for being a bad mother. “No, you’re not, Mum. You just can’t do science. No problems.” I kiss him good night.

21:25 – Cry

21:45 – Clean up the mess after dinner

22:30 – My little girl wakes up

“Can I please have a glass of water?”

Of course she can. She wakes up every night, we go through this conversation every night.

She drinks her glass of water, I take her to bed. I stroke her back, until she falls asleep again.

23:00 – I run to have a shower

I cry in the shower.

23:35 – I get out of the bathroom

I usually sit on the edge of the bed for a good twenty minutes, staring into the distance.

00:00 – Fuck, it’s midnight

00:05 – Look through work stuff

01:00 – I bloody hate this job

I finally go to bed. I don’t sleep well. I wake up at least three times. Sometimes I have nightmares.

06:00 – It starts again

«»«»«

It’s nine, and I can’t tell you how much I hate to wake up this early.

Sometimes my child’s nanny isn’t quick enough, so the little monster’s crying wakes me up.

I like to take my time when I get ready, maybe even have a bath. But of course, I never tell anyone what my plans are about the morning, but I except my breakfast to be the perfect temperature.

If I feel like it, I go out and shop a bit (usually from 12:00 until I drop).

If I don’t want to waste my time on others, I’ll go in the backyard and ride my horse, sometimes all the way down to the little stream that marks the middle of our property.

They usually bring my lunch after me, so whenever I’m hungry I can eat.

I think I want to travel.

I don’t really have much to do, so when I’m bored I either do some sort of sport or do some redesigning in a room.

When hubby gets back we have dinner together, the child is there too.

I don’t like her. Like, I know that she is mine and all, but she’s nothing like me, and she is kinda ugly. And she is too loud. Whatever.

Hubby sometimes has to work after dinner too.

I’m so alone. I’m so bored.

I hate my life.

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